Anyone reading this that knew me around the time of the referendum in 1997 will know that I was scared of an independent Scotland. I was a kid in high school and worried, as odd as it may seem for a youngster, about my future. Education, jobs, money. I was quite the fun loving girl. My parents ran their own business, which at that time wasn't running so well. I worried having our own parliament would affect them and me. Would I be able to go to university, or get a job? Why was I worrying about these things at such a young age?
Fast-forward 17 years (holy smokes, it's been that long?!) and I am still worried. I got to university, which I messed up all by myself. I got a part time job as soon as I was old enough, and have not been out of work since, except for one month when I was 19. Lucky, huh? However, my career hasn't really advanced as I'd hoped despite my employment record. Highly possible that this is because of me, and not because of the recession, the government, or the cuts that the Arts have suffered over the years. I think it's all of the above. I have mostly earned minimum wage for the past 12 years, only in the past year going above both minimum and living wage. My parents' business, however, did fall apart, but they rebuilt from scratch and are now comfortably surviving.
My worries of 1997 have grown up with me, and evolved. I worry about the future and what this referendum will mean for my future. My family's future. Everyone's future.
I have a lot to thank the Scottish Government for. All but 1 year of my tuition fees were covered by SAAS. Apart from a bad experience in 2009/2010 involving waiting lists and over stretched mental health resources, have nothing but love and appreciation for the NHS Scotland. I am thankful for my free prescriptions, NHS 24, as well as care and support for terminally ill loved ones. Our education system free of Michael Gove. Our own National Theatre. I could go on, but I have to be objection and question - is this enough evidence to vote yes?
I have to cast my vote based on what can offer me the security and happiness. I'm not entirely happy with life at the moment. I'm not happy with a government that allows major corporations to avoid paying tax, yet introduce cuts and taxes to the most vulnerable in society. I am not happy with a government that no longer values the NHS. I am not happy with a government that doesn't take environmental issues seriously, thus condoning destruction of the planet.
The things that I am looking for in our future government are - one that cares about the people, the planet and the future; one which has a fair tax and welfare system; one which values the education of all regardless of class; one which values and preserves vital institutions such as Health Service and transport. I am nearing 30 and trying to form some sort of career/life pathway. I am in a long term relationship with someone I plan on spending the rest of my life with. Perhaps one day we would like to get married, maybe even have children. Perhaps I would like to start my own business, or go into politics. I don't know exactly what I want from the future, but I know I want possibilities and opportunities. Would a Yes vote guarantee me job security, financial stability, a supported health service, a reliable transport network, an education system my potential offspring would thrive in? Could a No vote guarantee any of this either?
That is my worry. There is no guarantee. There is no way back. And I can barely decide what to have for breakfast nevermind how I want my country to be run for the rest of my life.
I do know, however, that the only person who can decide this for me, is me. No pressure.
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